“SOME FILMS I SAW OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS: Volume 4 – ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’, ‘Jennifer’s Body’, ‘Where the Wild Things are’, ‘I Love You Beth Cooper’ and 9 others…” by Nick Chen

This fortmonth: ‘Adaptation’, ‘The Darjeeling Limited’, ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’, ‘Humpday’, ‘I Love You Beth Cooper’, ‘In Search of a Midnight Kiss’, ‘Jennifer’s Body’, ‘Paper Heart’, ‘Shopgirl’, ‘Sour Grapes’, ‘What’s Up, Doc?’, ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’ and ‘Where the Wild Things are’.

I went to the cinema a few times and got popcorn every single time.

Here are more reviews from someone who knows very little about films. There’ll be more in a few weeks time, and I plan to watch ‘Fantastic Mr. Fox’, ‘Repulsion’, ‘Jennifer’s Body’, ‘Twelve Monkeys’, ‘I Love You Beth Cooper’ and ‘Stranger Than Paradise’ amongst others.

Adaptation (2002) – 9/10
If I was Dave Eggers, then I would call this a heartbreaking work of staggering genius. Charlie Kaufman’s follow up to Being John Malkovich is pretty much Being Charlie Kaufman, in that it is a portal into one of our generation’s most talented screenplay writers. Every line has a touch of esoteric weirdness, and grapples with reality to make us ask questions like how we perceive ourselves and why are there two Nicholas Cages? Whereas Being John Malkovich was a script by someone trying to prove his abilities in being weirder than the next bearded writer on a laptop in Starbucks, Adaptation is by a man who knows he is brilliant. A heartbreaking work of staggering genius.

The Darjeeling Limited (2007) – 6.5/10
It’s easy to spot a Wes Anderson film by the silences, the pauses, the glimpses into where that Nick Drake soundtrack is escaping from, and having a plain-spoken character tell everyone what they’re going to do. In The Life Aquatic, it is Bill Murray. In Fantastic Mr. Fox (reviewed next), it is George Clooney. In Rushmore, it is Jason Schwartzman. In The Royal Tenembaums, it was… well, I can’t remember. In The Darjeeling Limited, it is Owen Wilson. Apart from the excitement of seeing Bill Murray run after a train in the first few minutes, there is little to make this film stand out in an excellent repertoire of films. The relocation to India was probably an attempt from Anderson to crush the common criticism that his films are all the same, but not enough is changed. There is little integration with Indian culture, and the characters still remain in their own Anderson-lite world. This isn’t necessarily a kingdom, but it’s as if Anderson collapsed into his own bed, but pretended it was a hammock.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009) – 8/10
Foxes have always loved stealing things, whether a piece of litter in the bin or assisting Ronnie Biggs in The Great Train Robbery. The best thing about Fantastic Mr. Fox is its total disregard for its target audience of young children. Mr Fox uses the phrase ‘comme ci, comme ca’ and discusses existentialism, and the word ‘cuss’ is used to disguise casual swearing. For example, the word ‘cluster-cuss’ is used. Of course, foxes are horrible creatures, but are fascinating in animated form because they can’t steal anything apart from anyone apart from smaller indie films. And there’s Bill Murray as a badger, although it might’ve been a groundhog.

Humpday (2009) – 6.5/10
“How should we start?”
“I don’t know. Should we try hugging without shirts?”
Two straight best friends agree to make a home-made gay porn film to prove who can be more like Jack Kerouac in spirit. It sounds like a Judd Apatow plot which would use the term ‘bromance’ to hide its misogynistic and homophobic underlying, but luckily Humpday is different. The improvised script plays a strange plot with a Sundance Film Festival nothingness atmosphere, full of unexpected and expected humour in every scene, downplayed with indie sighing. The problem lies with the quirk of the plot that outquirks itself; when the protagonist tells his wife that he doesn’t know why he’s making a gay porn film, the writer probably agreed.

I Love You Beth Cooper (2009) – 7/10
This film was ripped to shred by every critic in town and out of town, but I see it as the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for our generation, which is a film I’d give 7/10. Hence this rating.

In Search of a Midnight Kiss (2007) – 9/10

In Search of a Midnight Kiss is a black-and-white romance set in L.A., and shares many similarities with Woody Allen’s masterpiece Manhattan. In Manhattan, Allen uses Gershwin’s bold music to paint his beloved city, but In Search of a Midnight Kiss uses soft music as a reminder of the quieter, more innocent strangers who walk the streets of a place generally thought of as containing unemployed actors.
There is a certain scene when the two protagonists run out of a house together, running away from her violent ex-boyfriend, and they are laughing. Instead of being terrified, they have fun, and then they stop, before he says that they should continue just in case. But really, he’s just having fun and wants to elongate the moment. And then this song starts playing, and it fits the moment perfectly, from its first few lines: “I tried to save a girl I truly loved and didn’t quite know how to help her…”
I am endlessly fascinated by films that portray romances between two people who end up together just because ‘it happens’ and they have nothing else to do, and this film somehow managed to be honest about that situation, yet romanticising it at the same time. And I think it’s mainly down to the combination of the black-and-white direction and a soundtrack of acoustic tragedy.

Jennifer’s Body (2009) – 6/10
If ever a film wanted to be like Heathers (apart from the rumoured Heathers 2 that is possibly being made ), it is Jennifer’s Body. The script is punctuated by painful catchphrases that are too self-aware to take off, and the director presumably felt Jennifer’s body would be enough to distract from the words… the words… the words were not here or there, just… not there… and it was a mistake to reveal the ending at the beginning… subtle and not so subtle tributes to Carrie remind the audience of better films of the same ilk (including Juno).

Paper Heart (2009) – 2/10
Honestly one of the dullest experiences of my life. It’s as if they made a film version of someone’s really dull blog, except they actually have. The one redeeming feature from this structure would be that thing called honesty, but, honestly, there isn’t any honesty. Every line is unapologetically (I hope) set up to progress an absent plot. Michael Cera is an actor, not a plot. Bizarrely, the high-point was Cera performing an acoustic cover of a lost Weezer b-side from Pinkerton era, but that’s probably just me.
Let it be known that there was one massive plot hole – Michael Cera using MSN Messenger. Am I really supposed to believe that Michael fucking Cera still uses MSN Messenger? Even I don’t use that anymore. He could use Facebook chat, at the very least.

Shopgirl (2005) – 3/10
Creepy old man writes a script where a creepy old man miraculously seduces young, pretty girl, and creepy old man plays creepy old man in film, and gets to fondle young, pretty girl in a creepy old man fashion. Creepy old man is universally seen as not being as funny as he was back in the Jurassic era, although I will defend LA Story until either I or creepy old man dies. Creepy old man is called Steve Martin, by the way.

Sour Grapes (1998) – 2/10
Probably the only bad thing Larry David has ever done. We probably have the poor critical reception of the ridiculously tight-plotted Sour Grapes for the looser and improvised, yet still ridiculously tight-plotted Curb Your Enthusiasm.

What’s Up, Doc? (1972) – 5/10
A very dated screwball film that is full of affection for black-and-white films that star Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant, but cannot live up to its heroes. A bit like Simba.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) – 8/10
Raymond Chandler pays Disney a visit, and that’s when everything begins to go wrong. Bob seeks to avenge his brother’s death (a piano was dropped on him by a ‘toon’) in a manner more exciting that Simba avenging Mustafa’s fall. In the end, it turns out it was Colonel Mustard with a frying pan in the bedroom. Kinky.

Where the Wild Things are (2009) – 5/10
The film is beautiful – every brush stroke has Spike Jonze’s fingerprints, and Karen O’s animal noises hug the imaginary world like a rug knitted by Dave Eggers. The problem doesn’t come from knowing the plot, or rather lack of, beforehand, but I just don’t understand how such a warm film can seem so empty. So much effort and collaborative talent went into the production, but there is something missing, and not just some guy at a cinema turning to his girlfriend to say, “Huh? This film’s boring.”
Much has been made that this isn’t really a film for children, but mainly for adults. I strongly disagree – it is for people who want to be parents. It’s like being on a train with a whiny child who asks really loud questions about every aspect about a train journey whilst its jaded parents patronise their product until it’s time for them to go home to their sad, jaded lives. Well, it was like that, except the parents were replaced by big, large furry things. I probably wouldn’t enjoy watching Avatar.