“Accident” by Noona Uranta

Last Updated: 8 December 2009 256 views No Comment Posted by: B-Side Empire

Pushing my way through the crowd of hurrying commuters I mumble to myself that I really should invest in a car. It’s a normal enough day in the rush-hour of the morning with the smell of Star Bucks coffee drinking businessmen bustling past me with their briefcases completely unaware that they have done so, no change there then. I grit my teeth and squeeze my way through the sea of people, desperate to catch my train. If only I had known what lay ahead for me, maybe then I would have appreciated these daily hindrances.
As I take my seat in the confined space, trying my best to both breathe and hold my nose from that overpowering musty smell wafting out from underneath the numerous armpits around me, I notice how everybody seems so far away from reality. Some sit with their heads engrossed in newspapers and books whilst others simply sit with their eyes transfixed to one spot. I nosily try and work out what they are thinking and figure that most of them are probably thinking about work. Whilst some would be questioning why they even bothered with it if it meant having to undergo this type of torture just to get there, others would be thinking themselves grateful to actually have a good job. I was definitely the former; the sort that complain all day long about public transport but never actually do anything about it. God, I could so do with a car right now.
Opposite me is a young girl, probably about three. She catches my attention as she sits swinging her miniature legs back and forth making a banging sound as her feet hit the bottom of the chair. This would usually have bothered me had it not been for the fact that she looked so tiny and innocent with those big blue eyes and curly blonde hair. She stares at me long and hard checking me out from head to toe as if making some mental checklist ensuring that it is safe to smile at me. I hear her mother whisper to her to stop staring because it’s rude, of course like any young child would, she carries on. I smile back at her and wonder whether this is what my child will be like when it finally arrives on this earth. Amidst my sudden flush of extreme excitement for a baby I still had to wait another three months to see, I hear a loud bang. I hardly have time to look across the carriage before I hear another and then another and then….
Silence followed by screams and long sharp wails that pierce through me like bolts of lightning. I see nothing but complete darkness, I feel around but it all just feels like rubble and grit. I hear crying within my vicinity, but I can’t make out who it is. An unsteady female voice shouts “wake up baby please wake up, don’t leave me.” It sounds familiar, like the voice of the woman sitting opposite me with her child. She repeats herself again, this time I can feel the desperation and sadness in her voice but still I can’t open my eyes and feel rooted to the spot, unable to move or talk. I rub my eyes twice before blinking them, nothing. As the realisation hits me I begin to weep uncontrollably. I cry for the baby I will never see, for my wife’s beautiful face and eyes I will never be able to gaze into again and for all the simple things in life that I take for granted. But most of all I cry for the car I never bought.